We’ve all ended relationships. Sometimes people sort of fade out of our lives, but other times the end of a relationship is sharp and clear and you know it’s O-V-E-R. You know you’re never ever getting back together, even though part of your heart wishes the other person would come crawling back and say they still care — maybe just so you can slam the door in their face. Or so you can take them back and dump them the next day on your own terms. Catharsis comes in many forms.
It happened to me, and it can happen to you. (Does anyone else listen to Diana Ross and the Supremes’ “The Happening?" No?).
Move over, senioritis. With graduation drawing closer by the day, what many of us now deal with is a case of the senior scaries. While senioritis is a (potentially contagious) infection with symptoms consisting of not giving a darn, extreme procrastination and general soullessness in the classroom, the senior scaries is the state of being terrified/excited/terrifyingly excited about graduation. But never fear, Dr. Erin is here.
You know how it goes: the prince rescues/marries the princess, the villain is defeated, the kingdom saved. We’re familiar with the concepts of fairy tale weddings, of living happily ever after. When we talk about fairy tales, we often don’t think about how we live them in moments absent of poofy white dresses, tall cakes or ceremony. But matrimony isn’t the whole story. Marriage isn’t the fairy tale. Life is the fairy tale. Fairy tales are all around us.
You may not remember the last time you peed from your eyeballs. Maybe it was when you were just a babe. Maybe it was after that third shot of tequila last weekend. Maybe it’s happening right now because MIDTERMS. Even if you can’t remember the last time you did it, urinating from your eyes is perfectly normal. Healthy, even. People who are #basic may refer to this as “crying.” For reasons I will explain later, I believe it is more accurate to call crying “emotional peeing.”
Anyone with a Netflix account should know about Feb. 13 or Galentine’s Day, as popularized by the wonderful “Parks and Rec” (season 2 episode 16, season 4 episode 14 and season 6 episode 16). Galentine’s Day celebrates the love and friendship you share with the gals (and guys) in your life.
Toast, not to be confused with the verb “toast,” involving the raising of glasses as one person gives a speech, is an easy, affordable, edible luxury, which makes it perfect for college students. But as a society, we have a problem.
The flu this year is reported to be particularly nasty. I mean, besides the fact that having your body taken over by fever, chills, cough, sore throat, runny nose, muscle or body aches, headache and fatigue is never really not nasty, this year’s flu is nasty on top of that nasty. How many times can I write nasty in one paragraph? Six. Six times. The devil’s number, because the flu is that n-a-s-t-y. (Okay, I guess that’s seven, but you get the point).
Although “no” is a wonderful word (Only two letters say so much!), UP students are often reluctant to break out the big “no.” As our professors have often lamented, UP students are generally impossibly polite and afraid to say the things that need to be said if they aren’t exactly nice. But there are times when we need to put our big kid pants on and say it like we mean it, because we do.
Curse words, fireworks, caviar, limos. They all lose their sparkle if they become everyday things, and not special occasion things. Of course, there are definitely occasions to bring out your best (worst?) curse words. But quite frankly, there are many, many more times you should stow your curses away.