(-- The Beacon)
By PJ Marcello
It's that time of year again. That's right, ladies (but mostly gentlemen), No Shave Novembeard is upon us.
"What a trivial celebration," you say.
"Just a ridiculous display of immaturity among college and high school-age boys trying to flex what little facial-hair muscle they have," your beardless friend adds.
Unfortunately, these are the unfair prejudices that bearded folk face on a yearly basis. But let me learn you naysayers a thing or two about what a beard means to the young men of our society and how this so-called trivial monthlong holiday transcends simple hair growth and becomes an essential launching point through which boys transform into men and better yet, make men into legends.
Few know the reasons behind this glorious festival of manhood. But lucky for you, I am one of the last remaining men who can bestow upon you the blessed gift of bearded baptism. It is well documented that many great men in our history, such as Jesus Christ, Brian Wilson (disambiguation: pitcher, not Beach Boy), Frederick Douglass, Paul Bunyan, Charlie Day and two thirds of ZZ Top had or have beards that rival anything you will see today.
However, No Shave Novembeard extends beyond a culture of greatness.
Reason and logic might tell you that this tradition was made to keep the faces of men warm for the bitter cold of winter. Sorry Spock, your logic has failed you.
Others may claim we are growing our beards out like St. Nicholas in preparation of the birth of our Savior in December. Wrong again!
These uneducated assumptions only complicate the simplicity of this month. No Shave Novembeard exists because, as we grow up, we yearn for the momentous day when we see that first hair on our chin so we can be just like Dad. Instead of pretending to shave with our Power Rangers razor-free shaving kit, Dad actually teaches us to put the blade to our face for the first time. It takes a few tries as we struggle to figure out that we don't need to lather the shaving cream an inch thick over our entire face, and we nick ourselves occasionally. It's only a matter of time before we get the hang of it.
After a few years, shaving becomes a regular occurrence and, quite frankly, a bit of a hassle. As men we are told we have to shave for school, or because it looks funny if we don't, or because girls don't like it or because our boss says so, until finally we realize we are being restrained from our full potential. If God didn't want us to have beards, then why would He/She make it grow back every day?
Thus we come to No Shave Novembeard, the month where we say enough is enough and we go a full 30 days without touching our razors.
This is a celebration of manhood that creates meaningful bonds in the bearded community and sometimes extends beyond the bearded brotherhood. In my family history alone, I can cite the benefits of a beard. My grandpa had a facial mane when he met my grandma. I thank God he did, for had he not met her I would not be here today growing my own magnificent beard.
To sum it all up for you, both good and evil men in our galaxy's history donned the beloved beard. More importantly, our everyday champions and unsung heroes go about their days rocking various facial hair fashions and making our lives more enjoyable. It is our job as men – or legends as the case may be – to continue this tradition and to use our ability to grow our facial hair for good, not for the purpose of evil.
So I challenge you men out there to answer the call of duty, not for me, not just for yourself but for those men who came before us and sacrificed so much to create this magical time we now call Novembeard.
(-- The Beacon)
