(Samantha Heathcote -- The Beacon)
By Laura Frazier, Staff Commentary
Many people may meet their future spouses in college. But for those who won't meet their soulmates during their time on campus, I blame the horrifically low number of guys who actually take a girl out on a date.
I don't mean to sound jaded or bitter, but as far as dating is concerned, everything is now tragically wrong. Our school's gender ratio is tilted at 61 percent women and 39 percent men, and I think it's time to do a little shout-out to the ladies and address how chivalry truly is dead and buried.
Ladies, when was the last time a guy actually offered to take you to dinner? No, meeting at The Commons doesn't count. I mean actually wanted to take you somewhere off campus and pay for your meal. I bet it's been longer than you would care to admit.
Dinner used to be the rational first date. The guy would pick you up, making sure to be on time and open the car door for you. Now we are lucky to even get a guy to show up for a group study session on time.
Hell, the last time a guy opened the car door for me, I had coffee in one hand and a cast on the other, and he was my boyfriend at the time. What used to be a normal expectation now rivals the possibility of being struck by lightning.
Now guys, I understand that we are all poor college students, but a shortage of funds is not a verifiable excuse for not taking a girl to dinner. The effort to actually take a girl on a date will speak volumes and be well worth the money. Even if it's somewhere cheap, the girl will feel special that a guy took time for her, and making a girl feel special should be something that every guy wants to do.
Though it is nice when a guy does spend money on a girl, it's not really necessary for a guy to always equate going on a date with spending money. There are plenty of fun and free date activities to which a girl would be honored to be asked, such as the Saturday Market or the one of the cool local parks. At these kinds of events, there is no expectation to spend money. Really, it's all about the effort, but I would never stop a guy who offered to actually spend money on a date.
If there is another excuse I have heard a million times it's that many guys do not have a car on campus and they can't take a girl out without a car. Yes, I understand that men want to be macho and pick the girl up. I agree this can be a great aspect to a date. But as a rational and levelheaded woman, I can take the lack of a car problem into perspective. Guys shouldn't think that not having a car available is a date dealbreaker. Just take the bus! It's really not that big of a deal, and it will just make the date more memorable if you end up taking the city bus with all of the wonderful Portland crazies. Just take it for what it is: an adventure.
It's so rare for a guy to actually take a girl on a date, going out has become an enormously big deal. If it happens it's assumed the guy asked because he really, truly likes the girl. It seems as if the casual dinner date is not a possibility for college students. It used to be expected that a guy would ask a girl on a date after a reasonable amount of time. Now guys think that a date is paralleled with commitment, and if there is one thing guys are terrified of, it's commitment.
Every guy has now become afraid of the dreaded "D-word." No, I don't mean death or divorce, or any other D-word with a negative connations. I mean dating. If a girl even hints at dating a guy anymore, it is likely he will run from her like the plague. Girls have all learned that the fastest way to scare off a guy, besides distracting him from the football game or admitting a "Twilight" fetish, is confessing that she would actually like to date him.
Call it the stereotypical college atmosphere, but no guy seems to want a girlfriend anymore. Instead, it is all about getting to know as many girls as possible. And for some reason, a girl actually finding a guy who wants to be her man is like trying to land on the moon. We have all heard the college anthem, "I Love College." But what Asher Roth should really be proud to proclaim is "I danced my ass off and had this one girl down for dating."
Yet sadly, it seems to be the truth: guys love women, but they don't love girlfriends. I understand that men want to be social and make a lot of new "friends." But that doesn't mean a girl's right to a date needs to be sacrificed. Don't be so afraid, men. It's just dinner. We are not expecting a proposal on the way home.
But don't get me wrong. Not every guy is like this, and I truly commend those great guys who do take the time to take a girl out on a date. And really, a date-less existence is not completely miserable. I mean, a text is still a nice gesture, and I still appreciate when a guy stops by just to say hello. Even studying together is not really that bad. All I know is that, oddly, I have a new appreciation for girl's nights. Sappy chick flicks, my girlfriends and ice cream are all not afraid of commitment. Maybe someday my prince will come, right?
Laura Frazier is a sophomore English major and can be contacted at frazier13@up.edu.
