By Kelsey Reavis
Spanish candor is in and expectations are out. It seems to me that honesty slowly became the new pessimism. I'm an avid fan of positive attitude, but caution: too much can warp the truth.
When I was studying abroad in Spain this summer, most of the students had already decided it would be the time of their life before it happened. As I was experiencing what were probably normal culture conflicts, I somehow felt guilty for being ungrateful. I noticed other Americans were overly hesitant to make a comment that even resembled criticism, fearing they were not "carpe diem"-ing their time abroad.
While waiting at the Madrid airport to fly home, I was talking to one of the students about certain things that had bothered me, and she felt so relieved to finally express her bottled-up opinions to someone who understood.
When did we become afraid to say how we really feel?
Being open-minded just means welcoming new experiences without bias, not forcing everything to be great. Giving honest credit respects the true worth of the experience (for you) and the right to your opinion.
Deciding what you like, dislike, value and oppose all are a natural part of self-discovery. The freedom to bounce around thoughts, provided by an open and respectful group, helps to work out the kinks of that learning process.
With high expectations, I was sure to find another culture more satisfying. When I got honest with myself, I found the opposite of what I was expecting, which turned out to be exactly what I needed.
Although I struggled with certain undertones of Spanish society, like the overt machismo and image-oriented culture, we can all learn something from their frankness. Passionately opinionated, they say what they think: no filter, no eggshells, no shame.
Opinion as a kind of truth is so culturally engrained that the verbs "to think" and "to believe" in Spanish are considered objective verbs and not subjective. Adjectives of description and opinion hold the same value – tall, fat, guapo, marvelous, horrible. As you can imagine, this has its pros and cons especially when the young ones are in need of a little social grace. Anyone who didn't look Spanish could almost be guaranteed some sort of demoralizing remark like "rubia" (blonde) or "Jackie Chan" at one point.
Although I never could say when I didn't like my host mom's food when she asked, I appreciated that she wouldn't have been offended, because opinions are not taken personally.
Spaniards say, do and live as they please – siestas and nightlife until 8 a.m. – and expect that others do the same. As I took this lesson to heart and left others behind, to my greatest surprise, I came to appreciate the U.S. in a new light.
Within two minutes of landing in America, although I noticed more pounds, I also noticed more smiles. People were culturally and racially diverse, generally friendly, helpful and didn't cut lines. We have a long way to go, but valuing the good qualities makes working on the bad ones seem worth it. Although it's not always sunny in Portland, like Charlie Day, I'm going America all over everybody's…
With a new semester underway and a whole new adventure for the class of 2015, I encourage you to let experiences come as they are without expectations. While keeping an open mind, be true to your feelings and observations – value your own opinion! We grow from what's honest and authentic, whether it is good, bad or delightfully imperfect.
Let's keep it real this fall and never let it go out of style.
