The cohosts of one of my favorite podcasts, “Can I Say Something,” Madeline Ford and Maalvika Bhat, are obsessed with giving what they call “BOD,” or benefit of the doubt. The pair, who obviously enjoy a catchy acronym, have put memorable words to a concept that has subtly influenced every relationship in my life. And it should be influencing yours, too.
BOD is defined by the Cambridge Dictionary as the choice to “believe something good about someone, rather than something bad, when you have the possibility of doing either.” While this may seem like a basic, obvious concept, I would argue that implementing the idea into your life intentionally is something most of us aren't doing enough.
According to a study in the Journal of Happiness Studies, there is a direct correlation between assumptions made about the reasoning for others’ actions and our own happiness. Our tendency to come up with generally positive or negative assumptions is called our “attributional style,” and researchers found that those with “hostile” styles — those that don’t give BOD — are less satisfied with their relationships.
BOD becomes even more important in college, where many are experiencing new friendships, roommates, housemates, colleagues and serious romantic relationships for the first time.
I completely attribute my long lasting friendship with my freshman-year roommate, and now housemate, Alanna Navarro to our mutual ability to give each other BOD. Whenever she did something that wasn’t peak-perfect roommate behavior, I would always attribute the action to her busy schedule, and doing so removed resentment from the equation.
Navarro likewise says that she would always do the same for me.
“I would always think about a reason behind the way you would act or do things,” Navarro said. “And so I would come from a point of view of trying to understand you and understand the fact that we come from different living situations and have different ways of interacting with people.”
I don’t live by BOD perfectly all of the time. Like everyone, I jump to conclusions and, on occasion, can be found psychoanalyzing the people in my life in not-so flattering lights. However, most of the time, I find a noticeable difference in my happiness when I choose to give BOD.
The important part isn’t perfection, but trying — for your own happiness and for the strength of your relationships.
Now go forth, and give that BOD!
Maggie Dapp is the Sports Editor at The Beacon. She can be reached at dapp26@up.edu.
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