Moving away from home for the first time can be a difficult transition for many college students. It’s hard to be away from your family and completely start over in a new environment. But some students have a little piece of home right here on The Bluff. The Beacon talked to 13 pairs of siblings at UP, who shared the advantages and disadvantages of going to school with your brother or sister.
Kilin and Kila Ung
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Kilin (junior) and Kila (freshman) Ung have been going through their breakups at the same time. Kilin mentioned that they even matched on Tinder after their breakups and both laughed at the memory. (Left to right: Kiling Ung, Kila Ung).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school together?
Kilin: We get to expand our friend circles and we get to know each other’s friends. And we also did that in high school, too, where we just kind of blended our friends and everyone just kind of met everyone. We’re super close when we can. We’re also really busy, too, so whenever we can see each other, sit down, hang out, catch up.
Kila: We also have the type of relationship that never changes. So, we won’t hang out for a while and we’ll be doing our own thing and be super busy, and then we’ll just watch a show together and it’s just normal. It’s completely normal.
Q: How would you guys describe your relationship?
Kilin: Best friends.
Kila: Yeah. That’s what I was thinking, too. We’ve always been like that.
Q: What’s the greatest advantage to having your sibling go to the same school as you?
Kilin: I get to take care of her. She’s got her freshman things going on and I know how that is.
Kila: I was going to say that. I have somebody to ask questions, just somebody watching out for me, which is nice because it’s a lot with college.
Erica and Lars Lavik
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Erica Lavik (senior) thinks of Lars Lavik (freshman) as her "blood brother." (Left to right: Erica Lavik, Lars Lavik).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school together?
Lars: It’s nice because it’s a support system. I mean, and then she also takes me out to eat. So, that’s cool, too. But we don’t see each other a ton, but when we do it’s cool.
Erica: It’s a catch-up session. I think, for me, it’s been really awesome because I’ve been away from home for so long and didn’t really get to experience Lars in high school. So, I feel like now that he is at that age where I remember being that age, I feel like we have a lot of relatability and we are becoming — obviously he’s my brother — but we’re like best friends now. It’s a really cool relationship that we have now.
Q: What is one advantage and one disadvantage to having your sibling on campus?
Lars: I don’t want her reputation to be what I’m known as. Because like “Oh, that’s Erica’s brother.” I want to have my own name. But the advantage is I always have that person to talk to and she’s always there for me.
Erica: My biggest worry was just him coming into this school and him being known as “Oh, that’s Erica’s brother,” instead of just his own person. I have a few of my friends who still live in Villa and that’s the way they recognize him and I think that’s kind of a disadvantage for both of us. But the advantage is that I’ve gotten so much closer to him because he’s here. Whenever I need anything, I need to vent about anything, he’s the one person I know I can really trust.
Q: What’s one of your favorite memories together at UP?
Erica: I remember the first week of school, I saw him walking to class as I was leaving a class and I was blown. I was like “That’s my brother!” It was the weirdest thing — it was weird, it was cool. But I also think just seeing him at dances, or just running into him, just dancing with him and all of his friends, just seeing him at school events has been really cool, too.
Lars: For me, it would be Dance of the Decades. I saw her there and it was kind of cool because I’m cool with her friends and we’re all friends. Or going out to eat.
Natalie and Caity Briare
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Sisters Caity (freshman) and Natalie (junior) Briare love to create together and share their art with the UP and the St. John's community. (Left to right: Caity Briare, Natalie Briare).
Q: What’s special about your relationship?
Caity: We shared a room for our whole life.
Natalie: This is the first year I’ve had my own room which is kind of crazy, but most of the years was spent sharing a room with Caity and it was just the two of us because we’re in the middle (middle children) and that just brought us closer.
Q: One advantage, one disadvantage?
Caity: Disadvantage — when I see that she has one of my shirts or pieces of clothing. I don’t think there’s a huge disadvantage. I guess sometimes you want to not be known as “Oh, you’re blah-blah-blah’s sister,” but that’s fine.
Natalie: I think a cool advantage is that often in college you know your friend, but you don’t know much about their family. Whereas in high school, people live near by us so you can meet their parents, meet their siblings pretty easily. So, I think it’s cool, at least in our case. We get to share our family dynamic with our friends and our friends really like seeing that, too, because it’s a peek into our lives more.
Q: Favorite memory on campus?
Caity: Oh yeah, we have a radio show together! Sometimes we have good radio shows and then, after, we come back, we eat at The Commons. Those are kind of fun.
Natalie: Yeah, we decided to do a radio show together not only because it would be a fun, relaxing thing to do, but also because Caity is going to Salzburg next year, so this is our only year on campus together. So, we’re just trying to take advantage of that time because I’m graduating and then Caity will be gone. We gotta take advantage of that time because it’s kind of a unique situation to have your sibling on campus with you and there’s only three weeks left.
Grace Ann and Aileen Converse
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One of Grace Ann (freshman) and Aileen (freshman) Converse's favorite memories together at UP so far was dressing up as the twins from The Shining for Halloween. (Left to right: Grace Ann Converse, Aileen Converse).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school together?
Aileen: I’ve met several people just by having them walk up to me and saying “Oh, hey, I know you!” And it’s like “Oh, no, no you don’t.” One time I actually met a friend of both of ours because she went on a business retreat with Grace and in the middle of the commons she waved to me and said “Hey, let’s have lunch!” and I was like “Okay, sure!” And in my head I was thinking “Where do I know you from?” And it was actually honest to God 45 minutes before she said “Oh, hey, yeah, how’ve you been since the business retreat?” And I was like “Uh...the what?” So...that’s how that happened. It’s been kind of funny. I’ve met many people Grace knows and vice versa.
Grace Ann: Once, her degree advisor straight up walked up to me and started asking me about my degree plan in Shiley...so that was an adventure.
Q: One advantage? One disadvantage?
Aileen: I would say the clear advantage is we were able to shock our entire dorm floor by dressing up as “The Shining” twins for Halloween. I still find that funny.
Q: What do you like to do together?
Aileen: We’re both members of, obviously the coolest campus student group — the Swords and Sorcery RPG club. So, you know, there’s that.
Grace Ann: It’s going to be us keeping it alive next year so UP people who are listening to this, please join. Please, for the love of God, there are, like, four of us.
Q: What is your favorite memory together on UP campus so far?
Aileen: I met Grace’s Calc 1 professor when she came around to the dorms and we just opened the door and she had never met me before, she had just seen Grace, but then it was just like “Oh, hey there’s two of them in weird costumes! Whoo!”
Grace Ann: It’s especially nice because “The Shining” twins is the kind of costume, very rare, but you always want to look for it, where kids just assume you’re two identical Alice in Wonderlands or something and just move on with their lives. But adults will absolutely have nightmares about you for several nights.
Q: Anything else you want to say?
Aileen: I love you.
Grace Ann: I love you, too.
Andrea and Monica Millett
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Monica (junior) and Andrea (freshman) Millett love getting brunch together on weekends. (Left to right: Monica Millett, Andrea Millett).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school together?
Monica: It’s a lot of fun.
Andrea: Yeah, she makes it feel more like home rather than being in a whole new place, and I really enjoy that.
Monica: Yeah, and it’s nice just randomly running into her on campus especially with our busy nursing schedule, I don’t really get to see her a lot. And it’s fun to just kind of run into each other while we’re both doing our own things, and it’s fun we can get lunch and catch up.
Monica: Our favorite thing is going to brunch on the weekends.
Q: Advantage? Disadvantage?
Monica: Advantage is the meal points.
Andrea: I would say getting to use her car.
Ana and Mary Clyde
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Mary (freshman) and Ana (junior) Clyde sing and play music together whether it's in the school choir or just randomly on the floor of one of their rooms in Kenna. (Left to right: Mary Clyde, Ana Clyde).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school together?
Mary: I, personally, have loved it. Ana’s always been a really big role model for me, so I pretty much do whatever she does, which, she probably finds annoying.
Ana: I don’t find it annoying. It’s been a lot of fun. Whenever I’m bored, I just run over to her room and bother her.
Mary: It’s true. I do the same though, but she’s usually asleep.
Q: Advantage? Disadvantage?
Ana: I know the advantage of having me.
Mary: Ana’s already been here. Many professors, many teachers, many administrative people...when I meet them they’re always like “Oh, are you Ana’s sister?” And I’m like “Yeah” and suddenly I feel like I have to live up to her standards. I don’t find myself to be as smart or anything as Ana—
Ana: That’s not true.
Mary: So, when that happens I get kind of nervous because I don’t do as well as Ana.
Ana: She does really well. Shut up. She does really well. And my standards are not that high. I’m not doing that great. So, that’s a disadvantage? What’s an advantage?
Mary: She helps me with every single one of my problems. And it’s also made coming into college a lot easier because she tells me everything that I need to know and what to do and what not to do.
Ana: Advantage for me is always having a backup. So, when my friends can’t have dinner I’m like “Okay, I’ll text Mary!” I’m just kidding. You’re a priority. It’s nice to have someone that really, really knows me. My friends know me, but someone who has grown up with me, who’s easy access, that I can just go and talk to her about my issues. And I can’t think of a disadvantage of having Mary here.
Q: What do you like to do together?
Mary: We sleep. We like to go to Pilot House—
Ana: We like to eat dinner. We order food from La Arepa and then we’ll watch “Jane the Virgin” together. We’ve done that a couple of times, eat together in her room.
Mary: We also sing.
Ana: Oh! All the time.
Mary: We sing together. There’s some times she grabs her guitar and I’ll grab my ukulele and we’ll be playing the same song, and obviously it’ll sound different and then we’ll do harmonies and stuff, and that’s always fun. And that’s something we can always do together.
Ana: Randomly one of us will start a song and the other one will jump in with a harmony. That’s probably the thing we do most together. And then gossip.
Miguel and Sam De Leon
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Family is very important to brothers Miguel (junior) and Sam (freshman) De Leon. Although they go to school far from their home in Sacramento, California, they still strive to be good role models for their two younger sisters. (Left to right: Miguel De Leon, Sam De Leon).
Q: How would you describe your relationship in one or two words?
Miguel: Tough love. We’ve never been very affectionate towards each other. But I know he’s there, he knows I’m there kind of a thing. A lot of the time we just mess with each other more than “Hey, you look beautiful today.” It’s more “Why do you do the things that you do?”
Sam: Growing up, especially as the two older brothers to the two younger sisters, we felt more compelled to be the role models and, you know, more protective over them. And so if he caught me doing something wrong, or I caught him, it’s almost like a call each other out kind of move. Like “Hey, you gotta work on this” or “Hey, that’s not right.” But at the same time, we do have our vulnerable moments because it’s important to show that, I think, we’re both human. And, again, to show our younger sisters as well that it’s okay to show your emotions.
Miguel: Yeah, even with ROTC, I’m upperclassman and he’s underclassman, so even there’s like a different dynamic. But at the end of the day, he’s still my brother.
Q: It sounds like family is important to you.
Sam: Absolutely. Family first.
Miguel: I think especially about our sisters. Everything we do revolves around us siblings. All of us as siblings have never been the very affectionate types. Even our sisters are like that. But at the end of the day, we have each others’ backs. I still call my sisters at least once a week and I still call my mom multiple times a week...because she’ll get mad, but also because I need to talk to my mom. Family has always been what’s held us together.
Sam: Definitely had some rough times growing up, both parents getting sick at different points in our lives. So, at times like that, we had each other. One parent would be sick in the hospital and the other one would be there at their bedside, and that would mean either Miguel or I would have to step up and drive the younger ones to soccer practice or even to school. So, in those times, where there was a lot of struggle and fear, even when Miguel was gone, we’d always have group chats. We have a sibling group chat on Snapchat and we’ll always send funny memories that we have with each other. It’s even that dynamic that keeps us pretty close.
Q: Disadvantage? Is there one?
Miguel: (immediately) Yes. Whenever he needs something, Mom calls me to do it for him. So, I never got that perk when I was here. Mom didn’t call anyone for me when I needed something, but he comes up here and needs like a watch and she’s like “I need you to take him to the store and do this and this and make sure he’s okay. Is he stressed? Is he eating?” and I’m like “Mom! He’s fine!”
Sam: In my defense, I like to think I can handle myself. When she does that, she does that without letting me know. So, the disadvantage of that is that I get yelled at by him and then my mom yells at me to make sure that he’s doing what she’s yelling at him for, and it’s this kind of funny cycle.
Q: Anything else?
Sam: Love you.
Miguel: I think I’m just appreciative to have my brother up here now. I feel like, I always talked about how important my family was the first two years and how it’s been my driving factor for everything that I do and the reason that I do ROTC stuff. Having my brother here is the living image of the reason why I do the things that I do.
Hanna and Emma Leonard
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Going to University of Portland together has allowed Hanna Leonard (junior) easier access her sister, Emma Leonard's (freshman) clothes. (Left to right: Hanna Leonard, Emma Leonard).
Q: How would you describe your relationship?
Emma: Best friend.
Hanna: Essentially that. Just someone to do fun stuff with and to talk to.
Emma: Originally I wanted to go somewhere else because it’s always like “Hanna’s sister,” but I’m glad I came here because I’m glad I have someone.
Q: Were you close growing up?
Emma: We weren’t always this close. I think just being here and only having each other, we’ve gotten way closer in the past couple months than it was because in high school we were...I wouldn’t say it was terrible, but—
Hanna: High school...in our last two years we got close because we were on the same sports team, so we definitely spent a lot of time together. But middle school...we were not that close. Definitely as we’ve aged and been here, we’ve definitely gotten closer.
Q: What do you guys talk about?
Emma: Class.
Hanna: We kind of gossip about everything that’s going on in our lives.
Emma: All the drama.
Hanna: And then we kind of make fun of each other…
Emma: Maybe her coming over and deciding how many clothes she’s going to take out of my closet.
Q: Anything else?
Hanna: I think it’s just good to have someone here that you’re really close with. At least for us, we don’t really see each other a ton because our schedules are completely different and I live off campus, but it’s really nice to know that that person is always there. And we definitely always have a good laugh with each other when we do see each other.
Emma: We still have our own separation, we can each do our own thing. But when we need it, we’ll always know we’re here for each other and have someone here.
Hanna: Makes it easy for your parents, too.
Ben and Dan Lively
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Having his twin, Dan Lively (senior), go the same school as him has helped Ben Lively (senior) get through several injuries throughout their four years at UP. (Left to right: Ben Lively, Dan Lively).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school as your twin?
Dan: I think it’s a really great experience just because, I mean we’ve lived together our whole lives and we don’t really know where we’re going to end up afterwards. So, I think it’s been great as far as getting to take classes together, getting to take classes separately. It doesn’t feel like we’re grouped together like I think it did in high school, just because campus and college life is so different. And getting to work together in certain classes and stuff has been really helpful, too.
Ben: It’s good to hear him say that because I kind of followed him here. He made the decision first. It’s been a lot of fun and, like he said, my thought process was “Take four more years together where we know we’re going to be close and enjoy it.” It’s been a lot of fun.
Q: Are you guys going to miss each other if you end up apart?
Both: Yeah.
Ben: It’s kind of weird. It’s going to be really weird. I mean, we shared a room up all the way through high school and now we’ve been living together off campus for three years. It’s going to be really different. Especially because neither of us are looking at staying in Portland right now so...it’s going to be spread out.
Dan: Neither of us really know where we’re going to be so that’s really some uncertainty and I think the longest time we’ve spent apart was last summer for an internship in Portland and he was home. That was a couple months so...it’ll definitely be a drastic change and I’ll miss this guy.
Q: What has been your favorite memory together at UP so far?
Dan: I think one thing that happened this year for us is UP started up a club basketball team, and we’re really passionate about basketball and got to do that all growing up. And, I think, going through that competitive atmosphere and being on a team together again, playing together again, just really added another really cool element to the end of the college life and that was really fun getting to do that together.
Ben: As far as us together, I’ve always had him to help me out. I’ve had a lot of injury stuff going on as far as while I’ve been in college. So, being at a small campus really helped me get through that as far as not falling behind in classes…(Dan) was like my personal assistant at times. I mean, I ended my sophomore year with a concussion right during finals, and he helped me a lot as far as talking to my profs and helping me manage my workload as far as day-to-day stuff. Then, I also had a back surgery this last summer, and having classes with him to start the next year when I couldn’t really sit through an entire three-hour class we might have had together was very helpful. It’s someone you can always go to with anything. So, to go through all that stuff and having him here made it a lot easier.
Jonae and Jonelle Sayama
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Twins Jonelle (junior) and Jonae (junior) Sayama have enjoyed experiencing the seasons together at UP, remembering fondly their first snow their freshman year. Having a piece of home in each other has helped them transition from life in Guam to life in Portland. (Left to right: Jonelle Sayama, Jonae Sayama).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school as your twin?
Jonelle: It feels pretty normal to us. I think our whole lives, we didn’t realize that people thought of it as something different or something surprising to them. I just feel like we always have each other and that’s the most important thing. That’s always someone to support you or someone to help you when college is just a little bit rough and you just need a friend there.
Jonae: It was really important to be with each other, especially moving so far from home because we’re from Guam and just having each other to help with culture shock and knowing that we’d have someone there, someone who could also help us do something, someone who was also going through the same things…having a little bit of home.
Q: One advantage, one disadvantage?
Joane: I know sometimes I would get her emails and she would get my emails. That happens so much.
Jonelle: Miscommunication with a lot of stuff.
Jonae: I’ve never felt anything like “Oh, I wish you didn’t go here” or “My life would be easier if you didn’t go here.” I never felt like we got in each other’s way or felt like if you were here, I can’t be my own person because we just found ourselves…being with each other is the best way. But I know a lot of people don’t think that.
Jonelle: We’ve lived in the same room most of our lives, we’ve gone to the same schools, we’ve always been in the same friend groups, so when we hear about people being like “No, I need to be my own person. I can’t be in the same school as my twin,” we don’t really experience that. We’ve been close most of our lives. So, I think the advantage of being together is when I’m stressed or confused about something, we can consult with each other, give each other words of wisdom, even help each other through campus. There’s just a lot of things where it’s really nice knowing you have someone so close to you that you trust just to give you some advice and help you push through like, finals and everything that comes with that.
Q: How would you describe your relationship?
Jonae: I feel like a positive thing is the “It takes two” phrase. Both of us together are always doing everything together. But we’re also complicated just as every other sibling goes, we fight, we get into each other’s faces.
Jonelle: I would say we’re stronger as a pair. We’re good as individuals, but I feel like we complement each other really well and we also support each other really well. So, as much as we’re really identical — like in a lot of our personality, we are really the same. We like the same things, we like the same foods…I would say stronger together is something I would use to describe us.
Q: Anything else?
Jonae: I definitely think school would be a lot different if we weren’t here together. Some things could be cool, but it would be different in a way that I probably wouldn’t have enjoyed as much. So, thank you for sticking by my side.
Dagan and Dawson Kay
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Dagan (senior) and Dawson (freshman) Kay share in good conversation when they hang out whether over coffee or dinner. One of their favorite memories at UP together was hanging out and listening to music together on their radio show. (Left to right: Dagan Kay, Dawson Kay).
Q: What’s it like having your sibling go to the same school as you?
Dawson: I mean, we’ve pretty much gone to the same school always. But now? There’s always a safety net that you need. To put it into simple words, it’s just a really nice thing to have — a resource to have this close to campus.
Dagan: Yeah, we’ve always gone to the same school, but we’re just far enough apart in age that, in high school it was the same, we had one year together. It was like that in high school, but it’s different when you’re living at home because we’re carpooling together to school and stuff like that. So then when he decided to come to UP, it felt like boarding school or something, where it was like “Ah, the Kay brothers are taking over.” But yeah! I think it’s great.
Dawson: For the first time, it was our choice to hang out and be good brothers.
Q: How would you guys describe your relationship?
Dawson: Role model.
Dagan: I guess I would say…like “homie.”
Q: What’s your favorite memory together at UP so far?
Dawson: Uh, radio show? Oh yeah! We forgot about the radio show!
Dagan: We hosted a radio show together all of fall semester. I would say that’s the coolest thing we’ve done together so far at UP. For me, it’s more in general...Like, I got to sort of relive freshman year a little bit. Riding the high of the first month of school, meeting tons of new people is super exciting, and Dawson was super excited. So, I remember just feeling proud and stoked that Dawson found a good group of people.
Dawson: We’ve always had similar tastes in music, riding to school every day for four years. We would ride together every day so I would just listen to the same music. So, we brought up a lot of the same music. Going into the show, hearing stuff that he’s found, it was just great.
Curtis and Adam Jones
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Adam (freshman) and Curtis (freshman) Jones would describe themselves as teammates. (Left to right: Adam Jones, Curtis Jones).
Q: What’s it like going to the same school as your twin?
Adam: It’s pretty normal. We’ve had this our whole lives.
Curtis: We’ve had the same friends our whole lives. Done the same sports. So, it’s kind of an easy transition because we still have the same group of friends. We work well together. We have a lot of the same homework and classes.
Q: How would you guys describe your relationship?
Curtis: I would describe us as more teammates than anything.
Adam: I’d have to agree with that.
Q: Advantage? Disadvantage?
Adam: Well, we can work on homework together and study together. That’s pretty easy. Disadvantage is he’s in my room all the time so that’s not fun all the time.
Curtis: Well, it’s fun for me. Yeah, we just work well together. That’s an advantage.
Q: What do you guys like to do together?
Adam: Play basketball, work out, hang with friends.
Curtis: We used to play music together. He plays the guitar, I used to play the drums.
Q: Why did you guys choose to go to the same school?
Adam: It kind of happened.
Curtis: Yeah, it was both our top choice and it had engineering and we both wanted to do that and yeah. We weren’t like “Oh, we’re definitely going to go to the same school.” It just kind of happened.
Emily and Elizabeth Diaz-Gunning
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Emily (junior) and Elizabeth (freshman) Diaz-Gunning describe the things they do in their time together as "old people stuff." They enjoy farmers markets and nights in watching Riverdale.
Q: What’s it like going to the same school?
Elizabeth: I honestly love it. Going to college and being such a homebody, it was kind of nerve-wracking. Especially since I got to go to college with a little piece of home, it made that transition a little easier for me.
Emily: Oh, so sweet. It’s interesting because she’s not old enough to go out and do stuff yet...most of the stuff since I’m twenty-one and she’s eighteen — JK. That’s not true. We usually stay in and watch Netflix. It’s fun, because that way I always have a person here when my friends go out and do their thing I’m like “No, I’m okay! I’ll stay in, study, watch Riverdale.”
Elizabeth: We go to farmer’s markets. Kind of like old people stuff we do together.
Emily: So true. It’s really true.
Q: How would you guys describe your relationship?
Elizabeth: Twin-tuition.
Emily: Interesting.
Q: What has been your favorite memory together at UP so far?
Emily: Her getting the same job as me. I’ve work in the Dean’s suite for almost two years now and she’s literally copying me in everything that I do, and I’m just happy somebody’s following me in my footsteps. It’s just nice because it brought us closer together even more. It’s just nice to have comfort.
Elizabeth: When we were first moving in, we had unpacked the whole room and we brought up two cars of stuff because I’m a freshman and I have all of my stuff, and she had some stuff from home. I mean, we didn’t have big cars either. So, we unpacked everything and the room is full and Emily goes “Okay, we need to go to the trunk room!” where she has eleven more boxes of stuff to get!
Emily: Twenty-two.
Elizabeth: Twenty-two! That’s probably my favorite memory of moving in together.
Emily: Surprise!
Q: Anything else?
Elizabeth: I definitely think it is worth it to go to college with your sibling if you have the opportunity. I don’t know, it’s really a great experience to grow as a person and to grow into an adult with one of the people I’m closest to. So, it’s definitely this great life moment that we’re kind of living through right now for a majority of the time.
Emily: I agree.
Annika Gordon is the multimedia editor for The Beacon. She can be reached at gordon20@up.edu.