Guest Commentary by Evan Castro |
Valentine’s Day tends to be an important holiday in today’s culture. For some, we picture romantic candle-lit dinners, for others it may be heart-shaped boxes of chocolate with a dozen red roses, and for many more the vision may be of an evening spent with that special someone while watching a mushily appropriate movie.
It would seem that Valentine’s Day is all about showing another person how much you love them. While there is nothing wrong with that, we should also remember that Valentine’s Day is also an opportunity to show ourselves how much we love who we are.
Self-love is a topic that many people do not feel comfortable discussing for fear that it will be interpreted as narcissism. There are times where we do not feel good about ourselves because we have a limited ability to feel good about ourselves without others’ feedback. We often feel that we need others’ feedback to bolster our sense of “being good enough.” We have to break away from that habit and realize that we don’t need to be good enough for others, we have to be good enough for ourselves.
Like anyone, I question my worth sometimes and the important thing is to not focus on that. The important thing to remember is that we all question our worth; no one is immune to that. Be authentic to yourself and to others, and as Steve Maraboli said, “Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.”
Self-love helps us to recognize that we are just as important as anyone else, and that what we think and feel is valid. There have been many times where I have expressed my authentic thoughts and feelings only to have them be invalidated by others. However, I no longer take those remarks to heart; I not only believe, but I know, that I am a good person; I know that I am just as important as anyone else, and I know that I am worth it. I know these things because I love who I am.
Remember the words of Joel Osteen: Don't ever criticize yourself. Don't go around all day long thinking, ‘I'm unattractive, I'm slow, I'm not as smart as my brother.’ God wasn't having a bad day when he made you … If you don't love yourself in the right way, you can't love your neighbor.
It all starts with you. We can help each other to self-love, but we need to be able to believe what others are telling us and what we tell ourselves. We have to convince ourselves that we are worth it, that we are beautiful and most importantly that we are loved. Use Post-it notes with positive messages, sing in the shower, just treat yourself and celebrate who you are.
So this Friday I challenge you. Celebrate the beautiful. Celebrate the strong. Celebrate you.
Evan Castro is a senior mechanical engineering major. He can be contacted at castro13@up.edu.
