By Bruce Garlinghouse Staff Writer firstname.lastname@example.org
This week, The Beacon checked in with our friend Wally Pilot. Wally left the mascot game in 2004, but returned in 2009 ripped and ready to lead his fellow Pilots in insane fandom. Read further to find out his secret for gorgeous biceps and what he was doing during his five year hiatus.
You were on hiatus for 5 years and finally returned in 2009. What made you come back to the mascot game?
Well I decided that other mascots were starting to catch up to my ability, so I decided that I should just take some time off to explore other adventures. I went down south and worked as a riverboat pilot on the Mississippi River, and I ran into my good friend Puddles. I still don't know why he was down there, but he helped me go through an intense training program. That's how I got the muscles I do now. Anyway, I realized that with these new guns I could once again compete against my competition at a high level, and here I am…
You have easily the best biceps of any mascot in the country, what is your secret?
Now you see, that workout with Puddles is only the beginning of my secret. I can't actually tell you the rest, that's just something between Puddles and me; we don't want other mascots getting a hold of it. Oh, and I can do more push-ups than him, just saying.
It is rumored that your tears can cure cancer, is this true?
It is very true, but seriously, do you think a man as tough as me would ever cry? Come on man!!
What sets you apart from the other WCC mascots?
Do you think any other mascot has a set of guns this sweet? I don't think so. Plus, there isn't another mascot in the WCC that is even close to as attractive as I am. You know what I'm talking about ladies.
You have a nice set of chompers. What toothpaste do you use?
Crest with baking soda and peroxide. I have to keep them nice and clean. You don't see the fans getting pumped up by mascots with yellow teeth now do you?
Is it frustrating being confused with plane pilots?
At first it was annoying, but after awhile I find it rewarding being able to clear up the confusion.
Coke or pepsi?
Is that even a question? Coke all the way!!
What is your approach to winning at life?
Well I get up super early to work out before I start the day. Then I always dress for success. Then I set my goals and work toward accomplishing them. I always have to work towards something, otherwise what's the point of living.
How do you handle all that winning?
I have a jar in my closet that I put all my excess winning in, and when I attend Pilot athletic events I give my extra winning to all the little kids that attend. I enjoy sharing my winning wealth with the community.
Wally Pilot is a fictional character and these answers were created by the students who wear the costume.