By Katie Schleiss
Campus Ministry Assistant Director Josh Noem asked students in the audience to describe their perfect life partner and numerous qualities were shouted. Adjectives such as committed, affectionate, supportive, trustworthy, loyal and honest were quickly offered. The most important one, however, was missing.
"I'm thinking of a four letter word," Noem said. "It starts with the letter 'l' and ends with the letter 'e.'"
Students giggled as it dawned on them. Love.
"Oh, yeah, I guess that might be important," one woman whispered to her neighbor.
Husband and wife team Josh and Stacey Noem, assistant directors of Campus Ministry, hosted the first lecture in the new "Life Beyond The Bluff" series.
Entitled "Theology of Dating and Marriage," this lecture dealt with showing students about the qualities one should look for in a life partner and how to establish boundaries in romantic relationships.
This workshop moved backwards from what the Noems described as the endpoint: Marriage. The defining characteristics of the ideal life partner were then extended to the definition of a Christian marriage, made complete with Christ's love.
"It's very interactive, that's our style, because this is a pretty small group," Josh said.
He went on to detail the importance of how human love can aspire to the love of Christ because couples are faced with certain devastating life scenarios, such as the death of a child.
"This is a really important part, showing the purposeful gift of self," Josh said. "Participating in this Christian love is enough to set your life on a certain trajectory, and this will help you grow towards a deeper love and help you grow towards holiness and perfection."
According to Stacey, there are basic questions each person must ask to prepare for committed relationships.
"Who am I and how can I fully give myself as an integrated person to someone else if I don't even know who I am?" Stacey said.
In addition to being able to define one's self, enforcing one's boundaries is imperative.
"Know what you want and think of where you will find that and then go and you will find that," Stacey said. "It's like a process of experience, where your values change. It's a continually evolving process."
The Noems were invited to speak by alumni relations, who wanted one lecture concerning dating and marriage, encompassing the theme of the lecture series to prepare students for life after graduation.
"It's holistic care for students as they begin to leave The Bluff," Josh said.
The office of alumni relations organized the series of lectures and plans to continue this program in coming years.
This event is primarily for seniors, and Alumni Relations Coordinator Kristin Bryant said feedback from people for ideas to add for coming sessions are welcome, especially from students.
"We like to run programs like this for practical reasons for you guys, not just exclusively for alums," Bryant said. "This is for students to learn about the alumni office and learn about the types of things we do."
Bryant said this particular topic idea originally came from Santa Clara University, which runs similar programs. The remaining three sessions will be in Buckley Center 163 at 6 p.m on Tuesdays.
Future discussions will deal with apartment leasing basics, wine tasting, basic budgeting and cooking basics.
