By Aaron O'Connell
The National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing is the second most popular sport in the United States, behind the NFL. And every year conglomerates pour billions of dollars into splashing advertisements all over these shiny, powerful vehicles. NASCAR is also one of the most profitable sports, and until 2005, was the fastest growing sport in the nation.
I have one simple question: Who the hell is watching this?
I fail to see the correlation between viewing several hours of cars circling a track and having a good time.
My first problem with NASCAR: I see no athletes. Am I watching the cars or the drivers?
First let's qualify an athlete. An athlete is someone who exhibits feats of agility, strength and skill within the confines of an organized sport.
What do NASCAR drivers do? They are subject to hot conditions and dangerous tracks.
Yes, drivers sweat a lot during the race, the combination of adrenaline and heat makes some lose between five and 10 pounds during a race.
Yeah and they also pee their pants.
Some people sit in saunas or heat rooms to lose weight, but I still wouldn't call these people athletes.
NASCAR racers are sedentary the entire time. They become dehydrated and lose weight due to the extreme heat in the cars. And many of them could use this extreme weight loss-- some of the short and rather rotund drivers look like a walk up a flight of stairs would make them winded.
The risk for injury is very high in their line of work, however. Few sports can boast the number of fatalities or injuries as NASCAR. But putting yourself in a dangerous situation doesn't make you brave or athletic. It makes you stupid.
Football, boxing, soccer, basketball and every other true sport is dangerous as a side effect. The risk of injury comes as a result of the athletic nature of the sport.
NASCAR is dangerous because otherwise, it wouldn't be entertaining. By putting yourself in a vehicle that weighs over 3000 pounds and driving next to more than 40 others as fast as you can-well that's just unintelligent.
In recent years, as NASCAR has struggleds in the ratings, it has come under criticism for its diminished use of caution flags, attempting to make the races closer.
Driving takes skill, sure. Perhaps the drivers are artisans. But they certainly aren't athletes.
My second problem with the sport: it makes America look bad.
True, the "hick" and "redneck" audience is a stereotype. And regrettably, people also tend to associate this judgment with the racist past of the USA. But there have only been three African American drivers in the premier league of NASCAR in history. How can you blame people when they see a crowd of confederate-flag sporting, drunken white people? Coincidentally they are the audience entertained by a pack of circularly driving cars.
In response to this, many proponents of NASCAR have argued that the same could be said about the "hip-hop" and "gangster" stereotypes attached to basketball. Basketball, however, is far more ethnically diverse than NASCAR, and is one of the most intensely competed sports the world over.
There is no Olympic NASCAR.
My third problem: the sport is pure boring.
Sure this is an opinion, but the redundancy of the sport is unquestionable. It lasts for over three hours and the cars drive the same stretch of road over and over. True, redundancy can be said of many other sports, but when you couple this facet of NASCAR with the aforementioned complaints, the need arises to change the sport.
Now, I have a few solutions to these problems of NASCAR, all of which would help transform this activity into an enjoyable pastime. It is already too late to turn NASCAR into a sport.
Number one: No more circular tracks. This is the most boring part about racing. Circles are boring. They have no end or even sharp points. Maybe throw some dodecahedrons into the tracks, and make them have a definite end.
Number two: Pay Vin Deisel to drive in the races. Not only does this increase the diversity (what ethnicity is he?) but it also brings in the "Fast and the Furious" demographic, which would be awesome.
Number three: At one point, make the drivers exit the car and compete in feats of strength. Nothing too arduous, of course, but enough to make the 60-year-olds and portly folk feel a need to drop out. Maybe make them push the car for awhile, or do a steeple chase.
Number four: Make every driver be his own lead mechanic. Then, people are responsible for how fast their own car is. Plus, this hands-on approach makes the drivers skilled in multiple ways-and shop junkies and the mechanically inclined can succeed.
There are endless other possibilities for this sport. But, as it is, NASCAR is a blemish upon the sporting community. Let's evolve past circular racing, and maybe watch something more interesting.
Aaron O'Connell is the Sports Editor of The Beacon. He can be contacted at oconnell11@up.edu
