By Jeff Trousdale
Feminine is the new masculine. This information was made apparent to me as I scanned the results of a recent poll put together by the men's website Askmen.com. The poll asked readers to vote for which celebrity they deemed to be most masculine in modern times. Among the manly men who were named in the top ten, here are some of the results.
In first place came David Beckham, possibly the only athletic superstar whose voice is higher pitched than that of his wife. He probably gets more manicures than her, too. Along with Beckham there was Timbaland at three, Justin Timberlake at five, and Steve Jobs at number seven.
I'm sorry, but a producer who wears shirts that don't come in men's sizes, a singer that sounds like Snow White sucking on helium, and a guy who is a nerd for a living aren't exactly my ideas of masculinity.
Call me old school, but I think of a masculine man as someone who is strong, tough and intelligent, has a deep sense of duty and helps those in need of his assistance. Or at least in the case of celebrities, he should give off the impression that he is all of these.
Based on these qualifications, I am shocked that the general public can't find anyone who is more manly than David Beckham.
This is the same David Beckham who, in 2002, was named as the embodiment of the metrosexual man by the very person who invented the term.
This is the same David Beckham who came out with a fragrance line. Not power tools, not even a sports drink, but a fragrance line. I guess the cologne helps him cover the sweaty stench he accumulates during his 15 minutes of playing time before he gets injured in a soccer match.
If you want to name a soccer player as the most masculine man, how about trying Zinedine Zidane, whose "head butt heard round the world" at the 2006 World Cup came as a result of a particularly offensive insult uttered by his opponent on the field. Perhaps violence was not the best response, but at least he stood up for himself.
Then we come to Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, pop musicians whose professions are to sing a bunch of songs that sound exactly the same in front of thousands of screaming teenage girls. Not exactly rescuing kittens from trees or chasing down criminals in the middle of the night.
Finally we have Steve Jobs. Jobs is a genius who is great at what he does, but I am not exactly sure if I would qualify him as the seventh most masculine celebrity in the world. The guy makes computers for a living. When I look at him I think "didn't I see that guy on 'Beauty and the Geek 6'?" He's not exactly my idea of a man's man.
The readers of Askmen.com managed to make a few reasonable selections on the list. Stars such as Matt Damon (the Bourne Series, anyone?), Daniel Craig, Roger Federer, George Clooney and Christian Bale were all in the top ten. David Beckham is more manly than James Bond and Batman? Give me a break.
I look forward to the "most feminine women" list, in which Rosie O'Donnell and Paris Hilton will surely take top honors.
Jeff Trousdale is a junior ?communication major.
