By Mikel Johnson, Beverly Scott, Guest Commentary -- firstname.lastname@example.org -- email@example.com
Dear Beacon Editors,
We feel the need to address a very serious problem with the Dec. 2, 2010 issue of The Beacon. We realize the enormity and prestige of UP's campus and the inevitability of leaving people out, but we feel that a very important and most humorous person was excluded from the list of funniest professors. This was a tragic mistake.
The self-proclaimed George Clooney of English professors, Dr. Louis James Masson is, without a doubt, the most hilarious professor on campus, if not the world. His charming anecdotes and mischievous mockings brighten the classroom experience. When Dr. Masson rapped along to Eminem, wished there was in a liquor cabinet in every classroom and reminded us that he was "not all that into tribal mating rituals," it made all of us English majors aspire to be just like him. Who else has a Facebook fan page devoted solely to his fashion sense? Who else can repeat the same story multiple times and still leave us laughing? Who else sticks to a strict regimen of Junior High Fridays?
You see, Dr. Masson's exclusion from the list of funniest professors is no laughing matter. Maybe it's because you are too young for his humor. Or maybe his IQ far surpasses that of the average student. But we beg of you, give Dr. Masson a chance. You only have to laugh at his jokes for one final semester.
-Dr. Masson's favorite students,
Beverly "The Juvenile Delinquent" Scott (firstname.lastname@example.org) and Mikel "Quite the Character" Johnson (email@example.com).