By Elliot Boswell
GO SEE... "The Hottie and the Nottie." At first glance, you might think I'm kidding. I mean, why would anyone recommend anything with Paris Hilton, even including her now-infamous film debut? But with this movie, we are at a monumental juncture in the history of movies where we have a chance that may not come again for a very long time, for "The Hottie and the Nottie" is currently the lowest-ranked film in the entire Internet Movie Database (IMDB).
Do you have any idea how many films are in there? Do you have any idea how many terrible films this one has had to beat out to be awarded such a distinction? According to the IMDB's rankings, Paris' current vanity project is the worst film of all time, ahead of such underachievers as "Plan 9 from Outer Space," "SuperBabies: Baby Geniuses 2," and "Gigli."
We have an opportunity to say, "I was there," to witness something epic, for who knows when a worse film will come along? Take your friends and bask in its callow, misogynistic spitefulness, write strongly worded letters to Miss Hilton and the good folks at Regent Releasing, the movie's distribution company, but the more you see this movie, the longer it will stay in theaters and give everyone else a chance to see it as well.
For then there will be a new universal benchmark. And then when "Date Movie 4: This Film Hates Ugly Chicks" comes out in a few years' time, you can always go, "Well, at least it's better than 'The Hottie and the Nottie.'"
For the record, this is not a "so bad, it's good" or "so bad, it's funny" kind of movie - this is a "so bad, it may be the worst thing ever put on celluloid" kind of movie, which does not necessarily make it a less important work of art. Go see it before the final copy is buried with Hilton and exists only on "worst-of lists."
READ... "The Commoner" by John Burnham Schwartz. This novel chronicles the difficulties of a young woman, Haruko, as she tries to navigate the murky waters of imperial Japan when she marries the Crown Prince.
Haruko is the first commoner in Japanese history to marry into the royal family and she soon discovers that her life is not the idyllic fairy tale she expected. The demands of the court transcend anything she has ever experienced, and she struggles to meet her in-laws' expectations to fulfill the requirements of the wife of the future emperor of Japan.
Haruko's first-person narration adds a layer of validity to the story, calling for readers to understand and empathize with her. Schwartz, who studied East Asian Studies at Harvard and lived for several years in Japan, based the novel on life of Japan's current empress, Michiko.
RENT... "Lust, Caution," Ang Lee's most recent effort and the first since his 2005 masterpiece "Brokeback Mountain." "Lust" is an espionage thriller set in Japanese-occupied Shanghai and traces the dance of a young resistance agent (Tang Wei) and a high-ranking government official (Tony Leung) as she tries to seduce and kill him.
Their relationship naturally complicates, and, as the title suggests, they become dependent on their violent lust for each other, even at the expense of the ideals they once stood for.
"Lust" was the only NC-17 film in more than ten years to see a widespread national release, so expect an intense viewing experience: The failed suppression of physical and emotional sadism define their clandestine sexual encounters. Despite being snubbed for Best Foreign Language Film at this year's Academy Awards (on a borderline technicality), expect to walk away from this one feeling shaken.
